True Sociopath Responses--It's All About Me!

Dealing with a Sociopath can be extremely frustrating. Because they lack basic emotional components and are typically quite narcissistic, the responses and reactions they have to everyday events can at times seem very odd and quite inappropriate to the rest of us. If you understand their thought process at its very basic level, you can better understand why they respond the way they do. You’ll never be able to rationalize how they act, but you might at least be able to gain a slight understanding of how a sociopath may respond in the future. As you will see in the following scenarios, a sociopathic response will typically be about them—never the actual situation. Baffling to the rest of us as it is, it is simply the way they are wired. Unfortunately, the following situations are real. They are written exactly as they occurred. *PLEASE NOTE* This article is not intended as a method to diagnose an individual as being sociopathic. It is intended to show some very typical response patterns from real individuals who have been diagnosed as sociopaths. Only a professional can and should actually diagnose a sociopath.

Your father is rushed to the hospital after suffering severe chest pains. You found him collapsed on the bathroom floor, and immediately dialed 911. It took minutes for the ambulance and paramedics to arrive, but it truly felt like a lifetime. The scene is utter chaos, and you ride with your father in the ambulance to the hospital and nothing but his survival can penetrate your thought process. The paramedics are working feverishly to stabilize him, and the situation seems very dire. Once you arrive at the hospital and he is safely in the hands of the very capable emergency room doctors, you begin to call and inform family members of what has transpired. Your sociopathic sister is the first to arrive at the hospital. She dramatically barges into the hospital, sobbing and carrying on. The first question she barks at you is “Why didn’t you call me first!?”

This scenario is a very typical sociopathic/narcissistic response. In fact, in this true scenario, she never did ask how her father was doing, or even if they knew what was wrong yet. It was more important for her to try inappropriately stealing this moment that belonged only to her father and make it about her. The best response is to not respond at all.

You are in the middle of a divorce with your sociopathic wife. You are trying to spare your two young children from as much of the drama as possible. Your wife is already totally enmeshed in her “other” life, which includes a lot of hard partying and a new man who is a drug dealer. She is constantly baiting the children, offering them gifts to agree to live with her. Not just any gifts—expensive laptops, televisions, gaming systems—as long as they tell the judge they want to live with her. You are aware of the situation, but have vowed to protect your children from the sordid details as much as possible. While you’re trying to figure out a way to deal with the situation, the kids come to you and tell you that their mother explained to them that she has a friend named Tom (the drug dealer) and that he has a lot of money and will buy them whatever they want. Her exact words to them are “Wouldn’t you rather live with me and have all Tom’s things than live with your dad?” How in the world do you react?

Again, you can see that the scenario is not at all about the children’s best interests. In all actuality, it was about her getting child support out of the deal. She never wanted the kids to live with her, nor did she have any intentions of that happening. She didn’t see them again for four years shortly after that situation occurred, even though she fought for another year in a half for custody and child support. The legal system sometimes seems very structured to support sociopaths, especially when they are women. It is unfathomable to most that a mother would not naturally have the ability to nurture and care for her children. The best thing to do in a situation like this is to stand by your morals. Keep your children out of it and protect them by responding with something very inconsequential. Do not try to confront the sociopath. They will feed off your emotion like a vampire on a jugular vein.

When asked in a deposition during your divorce, your husband reveals that he has been unfaithful with several individuals. He has no problem naming names and telling the stories. You are very surprised to find that one of the individuals used to be your children's babysitter. You are absolutely crushed and go to her to try to find out how she could have done this to you. She was like your own daughter. When she tells you the story, you are shocked and horrified to learn that your husband had raped her when she was a mere 11 years old, and the abuse continued until she was a young teen. This tears your family apart. Why would he even admit to this?

You write your ex-spouse an email indicating that you are having severe issues with your 17 year old daughter and that you have her in counseling because among other very problematic behaviors she is exhibiting, she has begun to tell extravagant lies that are very damaging to the entire family. The therapist has explained that he would like to have the other parent attend some therapy sessions with the child. In addition, you explain to the other parent that the therapist has explained to you that the behaviors your child is exhibiting are abnormal and that he would like to test her for several disorders, but initially feels that she has a textbook case of Borderline Personality Disorder with Antisocial behaviors. You are very concerned about your daughter’s well-being, so if means dealing with the ex, you’re up for it. The only response the other parent has to your email is “What lies has she told about me?” Unbelievable but true. At no point did this woman even consider that her daughter’s mental well-being should be the main concern. The father explained the situation to the therapist and it was determined he shouldn’t try to include the mother in the therapy sessions.

As you can see in all of the above situations, the sociopath’s concern was first and foremost about them. There are as many situations as there are responses, but they all come back to being very simplistic and extremely selfish. They simply cannot put themselves in a place of showing empathy for the plight of another person, even if it is their child. This isn’t to say they cannot act empathetic and caring, but sometimes it is very difficult for them to exclude themself from being the center of attention, no matter the situation.